Baby Nerd

One of the guys at work had his photo snapped today when he was sitting on a chair at a primary school he was doing some work at.

The big bugger looks hillarious sitting on this little chair. He said I could blog the picture if I hid his face (he is a dentist you know!). :P

Click for larger pic. :)



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240 Thousand Free from Three

OK, now this is hilarious. Stick with me on this one, it's worth it.

I have one of the 3 Skype Phones, which is basically a cellphone that has the Skype service installed on it. The result being you can use the 3 mobile broadband network to make free Skype phone calls. The handset is a regular prepaid cellphone service also, but I don't use it for that.

Anyway, the point of the matter is this. I just recharged the service to have some credit for the next two months, which is all I need to be able to make free Skype calls. :)

I logged into the 3 webpage using the handset to check the account balance, and noticed that it said I had 240 THOUSAND, yes that is 240,000 free SMS's remaining!!!

Now, I know I am supposed to get 240 free SMS's for the recharge period. I figured the webpage was just displaying the value wrong. So I sent an SMS and checked again... 239,999 remaining. OMG!!! One more SMS just to be sure... 239,998. WOO HOOOOO!!!

See for yourself!!! (click for larger pic)


Now, do the math. 3 charges 25 cents per SMS. 240 thousand SMS's are therefore valued at $60K. That's right, SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. (insert Dr Evil laugh here).

W00t!

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Exceptional Service?

I was at a loss. There was no iron in my room. My business shirts were all crushed from being in my bag, and I had no way to fix that. What the hell! Don't they iron their clothes over here? :(

The phone beside my bed has Chinese all over it, but a few words of English. One of them is "Laundry". I press it, intending to call for an iron. A young female voice answers in Chinese, I try to say in English "I need to iron my clothes, can I have an iron?" and she is silent for a moment, and says what sounds like "please wait" and hangs up.

A few minutes later my doorbell rings (I have a doorbell?). An attractive young Chinese lady is at the door dressed in a maids outfit (no, not that kind of maids outfit!). She bows deeply and smiles at me. I invite her in, indicate the creased shirts on my bed, and mime that I wish to iron them. She bows, smiles, opens the closet door and takes out a sheet of paper from a draw there.

On the paper is lots of Chinese, and a few words of English (seems to be the theme here). She points at the word "press" and says something. I get all excited, tell her yes yes, she smiles, bows, takes my shirts, turns, walks out, bows again, smiles again, and hurries off down the hall.

I hope my shirts come back. :(

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Damn

97 channels, 1 in English. :(

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Guild Dork

A workmate thought it would be funny to poke fun at another workmate when a jacket was delivered from his "geek club" professional guild. :P

He took a photo of the jacket and emailed it to the guy it was for, who was out on a client site. Threatened to sell it on eBay. (chuckle)



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Stitching It Up

Went to watch some street antics with some mates, and snapped this vid of them stitching it up for the crowd. :)

Always Right

Talking with a friend and a workmate. The topic of me always being right comes up. They agree that they don't always believe I am right, but they find it easier to pretend they do.

My reply? "I don't care if you truly believe or not, as long we can all get on with things agreeing I am right."

:)

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Nerd Pr0n?

Guy at work is getting all excited with the screenshot of his virtual machine host. The dual quad core Xeon with 8GB of RAM is getting him all worked up. :P



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Beer Scooter

How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night drinking and thought 'How on earth did I get home?'

As hard as you try, you can't piece together your return journey from the pub, or that party, to your house.

The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter.

The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of liquor. Bacchus has acquired a large batch of these magical devices.

The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion:-

The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness at this point the "slurring gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors will detect this pheromone and send down a magical Beer Scooter

The scooter scoops up the passenger, and deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This answers the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?'

Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are said to be responsible for over 90% of all Unidentified Drinking Injuries (UDI).

An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This answers a third question after a night out 'What the hell happened?'

With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending order, those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another and quite often lost time is regained in discussions and comparisons over a future period of time.

Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences.

With recent models including a GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a scooter drive-thru food chain specialising in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts. Another question answered!!

For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked from other people's gardens and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the
bruised shins.

The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently get through 260 Camel No Filters in a single night.

PS: Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt.

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Blog Voyeur?

If you are a closet voyeur, which I know most of you are, then you might be amused for a short while by this.

Blogger have a page you can load to watch all the pictures people post to their blog in real time. http://play.blogger.com/

It's kinda funky to watch as a slide show. I am trying to figure out a way to embed it in my Vista sidebar. :P

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Uber Cool Light-Weight Nerd

Took a few minutes to do yet another online test. This one was actually a little entertaining. :P





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Hilarious and Pathetic

I wanted to show this pic to a friend, so she could get a good laugh at it. It is funny enough to share with you all.

Me at 17 years of age. ;)



Hillarious!!! :P

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Angry Nathan

I am on a client site, having a very bad day. Snapped this pic with my cell to send to a friend, and thought it was amusing enough to post here.

See, I can laugh at myself! Even when I am throwing a tantrum. :P



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Thanks Alot Microsoft

Got this error popup when I tried to connect to a network drive. Yet again Microsoft goes all out with Vista and gives me a VERY informative error message. :(



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Cute Little Doggie

Here are a pair of pics my mother took of little Junior. He is such a gorgeous little doggie. :)

Click for larger pics.


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Little Sucker Moves

Am out at my sisters property today, and was hooning around the acreage on my nephews little 125cc motorbike. I am amazed at how much torque the little thing has. It gets up and moves, and wants to throw you off if you corner too hard.

My sisters boy had it slip out from under him not long after my sister took this pic of me riding it.

Click for larger pic. :)


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The Rule of Three

Most people who know me have already heard my "Rule of Three" theory. Just about everyone who has heard it signs off on it too. :)

For the rest of you, let me give it to you nice and quick. ;)

When considering a potential partner, you can generalise everything down to three basic attributes.

1: Looks - How physically attractive you find them.
2: Availability - Are they committed to someone already?
3: Mental Stability - How many "problems" they have. :P

Now here is the catch. You can only ever have two of those three at a time. That is, if you find someone who is attractive and available, they are going to be a nut job. If you find someone who is available and appears mentally normal, there is a very good chance they are not all that attractive. And if you find someone who is attractive and normal, they are inevitably already spoken for.

If you are unfortunate enough to have a decent number of past partners and relationships to reference against, go ahead and apply the rule of three. You'll see how valid it is! Apply it to relationships and partners of friends and family. It works!

Now there is always an exception to the rule. There are those people out there who manage to snap up one of those attractive normal partners the instant they become available. Or there are those who are unlucky enough to only have one (or even none) of the attributes. But as far as a generalisation goes, you'll find the rule of three to be pretty much spot on every time.

Which two apply to you? :P

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Wanker Gets Owned

You'll love this.

Returning from a client site today as this accident happened. (laugh)

B-Double truck is coming up a one lane street. Indicates to turn left, swings out wide to the right so he can make the turn, then a wanker zips up the left hand side of the truck to beat him around the corner.

Truck 1 - Wanker 0



Funny thing was, he was talking on his phone as I took the pic and I overheard him saying "The guy did not even look!". (laugh) WANKER!!!

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NOT FUNNNEEEEEE!!!

Oh my god this is so bloody funny!!!

This little kid is trying to tell his dad his baby brother has blood on his face. And his dad is trying so hard not to laugh.

Watch this whole thing. I swear you will laugh your head off and want to watch it again! :D



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Company Kart Racing

So the company decided to treat us to some kart racing this afternoon. We went down to Kingston Park Raceway to race their super karts. :)

Now I am very fond of my camera's excellent video recording abilities. I had an idea to get a "Gorillapod" and tape it to the top of my helmet. HELMET CAM!!! :D

I got some clips from the video footage I recorded, slapped them together with Movie Maker and post it up to YouTube for everyone to watch. :)

Sorry about the quality. Blame YouTube. :P Enjoy!!!



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