Drunken Time Travel

I awoke this morning in my bed with my first hangover in 13 years. As I lay there marveling at the fact that I recall these terrible symptoms after so long, and wondering why my pants are on backwards, some more recent memories start confusing my mind.

Chinese water torture? Attempted time travel with some sort of quantum foam? Male body waxing? Sour tasting peices of bacon? My name is not bloody Warren!

Why are my pants on backwards?!?!

Oh thats right! I took some wiskey home last night and poured two straight glasses, double shots. One for me, one for my uncle...

After a quick toast to the old drunkard, I wandered into the other room and handed his glass to my friend who was on the phone. I threw back mine, and enjoyed the warm tummy and light head that it gave me.

She was not content for just one glass, and tormented me until I agreed to have "just one more drink" with her. And here is where the story starts...

As best as I can recall, the series of events can be briefly described as this. Somehow a whole bottle of wiskey found its way into my belly. 11 standard drinks and half an hour later, my trustworthy friend had somehow put the idea in my mind that I could stop a clock hanging on the wall by using expandable foam. It just so happened that she had exactly the can of foam that I needed at hand.

It is amazing how much foam comes out of those things. It is equally amazing that the foam is REALLY sticky. Needless to say, I was not able to stop time using the foam and thus ended my drunken plan to time travel.

I am not sure when this part of the story happened, but I do recall trying to clean up bacon bits that I vomited up someplace. I also recall spending a reasonable amount of effort attempting to remove the now quite stuck foam that had hardened all over my hands and arms. :(

Pretty much everything beyond that point is not really accessable to me. I'll have to get the details from my trustworthy friend. But for some reason I think I was subjected to some sort of water torture, missed my uncle alot, and I am as yet to find out why my pants were on backwards.

I'll be sure to post again with the full story when I get it. For now, I have a splitting headache, my mouth tastes like a football team has showered in it, and I still can't get all this bloody foam off my hands. >:(

I knew there was a very good reason I did not drink these past 13 years...


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